Lost in Thought: My ups and downs (and all arounds) with social media
In a world dominated by social media, smart phones and ‘instagramable moments’, it’s easy to lose touch with what really matters. Is it possible to live in a world where social media can live harmoniously with the real world?
Anyone that follows me on Instagram will see a gallery of perfectly curated photos, carefully selected filters, and poses that frankly don’t come that naturally without a bit of practice. The truth? You’re absolutely right. This is, in fact, what social media often reflects. Most people aren’t posting about breakups, downfalls, mourning of a loved one or divorce. People often post about their happy moments, and it’s up to you (I’m looking at you), to decide what’s ‘real’ and what isn’t. What is authentic, and what is an exaggerated truth? What influences you in a positive way and what doesn’t?
I’ve had a few people in the last few months comment on my ‘activeness’ on social media and my intentions behind it. Having that come from a few close people in my life, (from a positive place, I should add), I felt like it was time to pause and reflect.
I should start by saying that I believe my social media involvement in the last few years stemmed from a childhood of feeling like I didn’t always fit in. I was a chubby, gay, Hispanic kid that never quite had a voice. This isn’t meant to be a sob story because I had a great childhood. When I reflect on my past, I have nothing but positive memories. I was happy, a little bit of a loner, but totally content. With that said, I sometimes felt alone, ignored and simply not good enough. Enter social media in the latter years of my life, where I was able to paint a perfect picture of the life I wanted people to think I was living. A few years ago, in the midst of a breakup and being unemployed, I hit an all time low, and as a result: I hit Instagram HARD. Instagram became my drug and I abused the SH*T out of it. I wanted everyone to know that I was thriving. I wasn’t. With a little help of social media I was able to mask my life.
“Look at this delicious meal I cooked!” *SNAP*
“Look at me doing exercise!” *SNAP*
“I’m fine, I’m absolutely fine” *SNAP*
I’m miserable.
And while I hit some very low points at times, I always find ways to lift myself up when I hit rock bottom. The trips, the adventures (while some seem a little staged) are in fact REAL. It was my way of coping and not falling into a rabbit hold of self-loathing and pity.
To me, Instagram is the ‘red carpet’ moment of life. It’s not all real. Sure, many moments may derive from real authentic experiences but it’s up to us to decide what’s real and what is exaggerated. It’s up to us to not compare our lives with others. Let’s say that again out loud: “It’s up to US to not compare our lives to others”.
This blog in many ways is helping me come to terms with what really matters. In many ways, it’s my therapy. My intention is not to gloat or brag about my life – which by the way, is filled with highs and lows – but moreover, to inspire people to live their best lives. To remind people that we aren’t perfect. That we all have our shit, and that’s ok.
It seems like every other day I see a celebrity ‘taking a break’ from social media to ‘find themselves’ again. I respect that. I think if you find yourself in a place where it serves no purpose for you or it negatively affects you then you should absolutely take a step back. To me, social media inspires me. It opens me up to the world and I enjoy that. While I see too many perfect bodies, when scrolling through my feed, it inspires me to workout rather than think negative thoughts. It’s important to be in the right headspace and if I am feeling really shitty about my life, I take a break.
The truth is, my relationship with social media is very much like a real relationship. It can be selfish, unforgiving and have its low points. But it can also be real, filled with positive vibes and inspiring. I decide the boundaries of this relationship and most importantly, I decide what’s real and what’s not.
